Gospel Conversations Reimagined: From Presentation to Conversation, 5 Behavior Changes
In my last post, I noted the ways that God often uses pain and suffering to expose our deepest needs—needs woven into the fabric of humankind: Peace, the absence of anxiety; prosperity, the longing for stability; purpose, the deep desire for meaning. Acknowledging these needs enhances our interaction with God and often provides an occasion to befriend, an opportunity for prayer, or as an inroad to a meaningful gospel conversation.
Significantly, God is using some semblance of these longings to draw the people around us into relationship with him—just like he did for us. Often in a very organic way, God brings people across your path and mine to bear witness of God’s love and faithfulness, grace and forgiveness, his presence and provision.
Jesus said, No one can come to me unless the Father who sent me draws him. And I will raise him up on the last day. It is written in the Prophets, ‘And they will all be taught by God’ (John 6:44).
When I consider my own faith-journey, I can see so clearly now the ways God brought people into my life to bear witness of his love and forgiveness long before I surrendered my life to him. I remember attending church camp as a kid, and although I do not remember hearing the gospel there, God planted in me a growing awareness of him in the world.
As a freshman at the University of Wyoming, two of my sorority sisters repeatedly invited me to their bible study even though I repeatedly declined. A year or so later, a neighbor shared the gospel with me at one of the lowest points in my life. On that day, I reached out to Jesus from a very dark place. Then, when things got even worse, God provided a string of people who, like lights in the darkness, reaffirmed my newfound, baby-like faith. Each one was a bright, shining reminder that Jesus is real.
I share this with you because of the awesome and powerful love of the Father. He is drawing people to himself all around us. We are called to bear witness, to shout out and to live out the good news in our secular age. Relevant gospel conversations today necessitate a growing sense of awareness, availability, and faith-filled expectation. The Three Core Longings, inherent in all of humankind, lend insight into our lives and the lives of our neighbors, coworkers, family, and friends and can open the door for God’s love, forgiveness, compassion, and provision. Like the three core longings, the following behavioral changes have the potential to radically change our conversations.[1]
(1) Be present and listen—follow the conversation and not your agenda. One way that I cultivate awareness is at the coffee shop (which I often frequent). I am learning to be consciously present as I order, to look into the eyes of the cashier, and ask, “How are you doing today?” then, I wait for an answer. I cannot tell you how many times my question is met with surprise. “Wow, thank you for asking!” Often their answers are fraught with longing, so if there’s time, I will often offer to pray—either right there or later.
(2) Find common ground—build a relational bridge. Another way to cultivate awareness is to find common ground. Bob and I are getting to know some neighbors and recently discovered that we all love to read. We then texted each other with our favorite book titles. The book recommended to me, The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari: A Fable About Fulfilling Your Dreams and Reaching Your Destiny. Our common love for reading has all the potential to lead to a discussion about purpose and destiny.
(3) Walk in their shoes—understand their story. Some conversations required our emotional availability and attention. I had a conversation with a young woman on a flight (back before masks). As soon as she learned that I worked for a Christian organization she stiffened up. Instead of responding in kind, I inquired, “I noticed you kind of reacted when I told you I am a Christian. I would love to understand why.” In the ways only God can, he opened the door for a deeply personal and truly meaningful gospel conversation.
Other times understanding requires physical availability and generosity. The pandemic has afforded Bob and me numerous opportunities to serve our neighbors by rerouting packages, or finding a plumber when a pipe bursts, or providing a meal, or keeping the garbage area picked up (thank you Bob).
(4) Talk like a real person—use words meant for people, not for the pews. I struggled with this one for a while. I was so used to presenting the gospel in a certain way that I found it difficult to talk about the God I love in everyday language. My Swiss friend Juerg has taught me the most about the freedom we have to enter conversations and talk about our God who is real and alive, and here among us. Juerg and some others developed an approach called MyFriends that encourages gospel conversations as a way of life. If you are interested in hearing more or joining a learning community, let me know!
(5) Create a better story—connect their story to the True Story of the Whole World (TSWW). In some cases, we need to rediscover our place in God’s story. Sometimes telling a better story means clearing up misconceptions about Christians and Christianity, religion and relationship, or the relationship between politics and faith. I have been in an ongoing conversation with a skeptic who is looking for “proof” that God exists. He is regularly unsatisfied with my answers, but I remain persistent and (mostly) full of faith because I am confident that the Father created that niggling inside and is drawing this guy to Jesus.
In my studies and on this journey, I have had an increasing sense that these kinds of conversations are holy moments designed by God to show us the Father’s love. I have realized afresh how much courage it takes to open-up, to willingly talk about very personal struggles, fears, and longings. What a privilege to participate with the Father as he draws people to himself.
“No one can come to me unless the Father who sent me draws him. And I will raise him up on the last day. It is written in the Prophets, ‘And they will all be taught by God’ (John 6:44).
“Father, who are you preparing to know you today?”
[1] The research behind these findings can be found here: Brooke Wright, Rick Fossum, Neil Bedwell, and Gail Brooks. Understanding Faith and Purpose in the City. Atlanta: Cyrano Marketing Collective, 2016. It can also be found in short form in this article, Cas Monaco and Gary Runn, “Scattering Seeds: Moments and Conversations,” The Billy Graham Center (formerly The Send Institute), July 16, 2018, and was also printed in my dissertation. Cas Monaco. Bill Bright’s Four Spiritual Laws: A Narrative Approach to Meaningful Gospel Conversations in a Twenty-first Century Secularized American Context. For more information, contact me at Cas.Monaco@familylife.com.
